(the write ups of destiny)
(inspirations)
(let's talk)
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A Review of the Self
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT!
BUYSIT! na ENGLISH PAPER NA YAN! Cant believe the classes I didnt attend to just to finish it! Really cant! God and I think I'll be failing. Im positive. Not only was I frequently cutting classes, for invalid reasons. I am missing a lot too! And I havent been able to do make-up quizzes yet! Oh if I could turn back the time! Im so afraid to regret a lot! I mean, what we have right now, this education, is a once in a lifetime priviledge. It passes by life once, and the bad part is people, especially me, take it for granted. The fact that we dont work for it. I mean, I think if Im a parent and I'd see my child not doing her schoolwork, cutting classes, spending more time with her peers at some God-forbid not-for-teens area of the metro while Im working my ass off to pay for her tuition I think I'd want to slap my bills and the tuition fees list of payments to her face. Yah and I think that's what my mom wants to do sometimes. I receive a slap here, a hit there regularly, and its my fault. I so not deserve this life Im having. I dont deserve it. I'd look at me and all I could feel is hatred. I hate to see my mom cry. I hate myself for being so stone-hearted and so hard-headed. I just dont know how to fix my life at this stage because everytime I try to start anew, something would just always be there to pull me down and drag me back to where I started. So simply said, I cant. Maybe there's no strong power to raise me up yet. I cant leave it all behind. Not in total. That ugly picture I see in front of me, that girl who has lost her identity and become someone she couldnt recognize anymore, that picture sticks in my mind, in my eyes, in the walls and in the floors and her voice is screaming, yeah this is good, im going to take over you and sometimes I just let her because it does feel good.
Oh what now, i think Im crazy. And you might think Im crazy. What the fuck do I care about that? There are only a few people in this world who knows who I really am and who knows what I really do. But there is hardly anyone who knows what I really feel, and what I really think. And as if that matters. I dont really give a shit about what people may think. I know that's rude but that's the truth and I might hate to admit it, I might as well say it. I dont really fucking care what you think of me. Judge me now, judge me never so what? What do you know? We all have our private lives so dont mess with mine.
Trying to hold myself together, but the pieces of my shattered self lay on the ground.
