And the Walls Bound Us

its funny. i'm not the only one missing. since this is my first blog, i wouldnt want it to be too much filled with wierdy, to just be misunderstood ideas, much like me. one or two things. but i cant guarantee that.

nawawala ako. literally, i am the type of person na madaling maligaw. ten times pa bago ko makabisado ang isang lugar. or more than. (bahay/studio nila kuya larry. ten times pa! nakakailan na ba ko?) hindi madali no, kala mo. me mga tao talagang matandain sa lugar. pero ako. i've been perpetually frightened of being lost. kaya nga hindi ko kaya mag-isa, not unless i really really have to.

in life, i am lost. there are so many things coming up, so many ideas to fill myself with, so many personalities and identities that i cant find my true self anymore. i look at someone and i see something nice in her, or something wonderful in the way she does things, and then i dont know, maybe i get some of her qualities. i didnt want it. nor do i mean to have it. pero its so natural of me. sometimes i just find myself sounding like someone else.

and now, i need a real me. someone that i could show everyone as genuine. not an imitator. do we really need to go with the flow of everything? do we need to wear this and that because everyone is wearing it? do we have to be afraid that someone might talk about us behind our back if we do not conform? do i have to act like im just like everyone else when i wanted to get away from all those restrictions? i try to tell myself, no one's telling you to do the same, or walang masama sa pagiging totoo. but i still follow. are these social norms? or is it just me limiting myself?

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hi! first i'd like to introduce myself. i'm pam. i grew up with a pen name of trix jones but now i'm thinking of using my real name. why not right? it's a nice name.

i love music. i love arts. i'm a Christian. my whole life i've been directed to the arts, well not that i'm much of an artist. i just find happiness in beauty and aesthetic things.

And the Walls Bound Us

its funny. i'm not the only one missing. since this is my first blog, i wouldnt want it to be too much filled with wierdy, to just be misunderstood ideas, much like me. one or two things. but i cant guarantee that.

nawawala ako. literally, i am the type of person na madaling maligaw. ten times pa bago ko makabisado ang isang lugar. or more than. (bahay/studio nila kuya larry. ten times pa! nakakailan na ba ko?) hindi madali no, kala mo. me mga tao talagang matandain sa lugar. pero ako. i've been perpetually frightened of being lost. kaya nga hindi ko kaya mag-isa, not unless i really really have to.

in life, i am lost. there are so many things coming up, so many ideas to fill myself with, so many personalities and identities that i cant find my true self anymore. i look at someone and i see something nice in her, or something wonderful in the way she does things, and then i dont know, maybe i get some of her qualities. i didnt want it. nor do i mean to have it. pero its so natural of me. sometimes i just find myself sounding like someone else.

and now, i need a real me. someone that i could show everyone as genuine. not an imitator. do we really need to go with the flow of everything? do we need to wear this and that because everyone is wearing it? do we have to be afraid that someone might talk about us behind our back if we do not conform? do i have to act like im just like everyone else when i wanted to get away from all those restrictions? i try to tell myself, no one's telling you to do the same, or walang masama sa pagiging totoo. but i still follow. are these social norms? or is it just me limiting myself?

0 comments // Post a Comment